Ask before you can't.
100 questions that get a loved one talking — and the method for capturing every word in their own voice.
Get the book — $17INSTANT DOWNLOAD · PDF · 42 PAGESThere is a particular silence
that arrives after a funeral.
It is not the silence of grief, exactly. It is the silence of questions. You are standing in a kitchen holding a mug that belonged to someone, and you think: I never asked where this came from.
And then, worse: I never asked what her mother's voice sounded like. I never asked why he left that town and never went back. I never asked how they met — not the short version everyone tells at parties. The real one.
You had years. You had Sunday afternoons. And the reason you didn't ask is not that you didn't love them. It's that asking felt like it could wait.
It always feels like it can wait.
This book exists to make it not wait.
Not icebreakers. A method,
and a hundred doors.
Every question in this book is built to do one specific job: get a person who says "oh, there's nothing much to tell" to talk for forty minutes without noticing. Each one comes with a follow-up — the second question, the one that turns a one-line answer into a story you'll play for your grandchildren.
- —The Methodsix rules that matter more than the questions do
- —The Setupsix things to do before you press record
- —Consent & Carehow to make the recording feel safe and freely given
- —The Twelve to Ask Firstfor when you only get one afternoon
- IBeginningsthe house, the street, the childhood
- IIThe People Who Made Youtheir parents, before they were anyone's parents
- IIIGrowing Upeveryone remembers seventeen; nobody is asked
- IVWork, Money & the Long Middlethe decades nobody asks about
- VLovethe long version — they've been waiting to be asked
- VIUsthe family they built, as they remember it
- VIITimes That Changed Everythinghistory, but only the parts they touched
- VIIIFaith, Doubt & What You Believewhere the long silences are — and the long answers
- IXThe Hard Thingsonly if the door is open
- XWhat You'd Want Us to Knowthe last chapter — ask in daylight
- —The Field Kitholiday table · long drive · hospital room · birthday
- —Afterwardshow to make sure the recording outlives the phone
- —Keepsake Pagesthe recording log & the stories still to ask for
A mediocre question asked well beats
a brilliant question asked badly.
Record first.
A transcript can help a family find and read a story. The original recording remains the heirloom — the laugh, the pause, the way she says your grandfather's name after fifty years.
One question. Then stop talking.
Count to seven in your head. Almost always, they were about to say the thing you actually came for.
Ask for the scene, not the summary.
"What was your childhood like?" gets an adjective. "Walk me through the kitchen you grew up in" gets twenty minutes.
Follow the flinch.
"Oh, that's a whole other story" is not a wall. It's a door with something behind it. The book shows you what to do with it.
Never correct them.
It was 1957, not 1958. It does not matter. You are recording their memory, not the county archive.
Stop while they still want more.
Forty minutes is a great session. The book's ending ritual helps make sure there's a next one.
Everything you need to ask —
starting this weekend.
- The Memory Keeper’s Question Book — 42-page PDF, designed to be read on a phone or printed and dog-eared
- 100 questions with follow-ups across ten chapters of a life
- The Method, Setup & Consent Guide — a gentle framework that turns a visit into a safely preserved heirloom
- The Field Kit — question sets for the holiday table, the long drive, the hospital room
- Two printable keepsake pages — the recording log and the still-to-ask list
The Keeper's Kit: 52 color-coded question cards, iPhone & Android recording checklists, consent and backup guidance, printable logs, a jar label, and blank cards for your own family questions. Tick one box at checkout.
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The complete digital files are delivered as soon as payment is complete, so Question Book and Keeper's Kit purchases are final except where required by law.
If you have trouble accessing the files or notice a billing error, email support within 30 days. See the refund policy.
Before you ask them theirs
Who is this for?
My mother says she has "nothing much to tell." Will this work on her?
Do I need any equipment?
What format is it?
Is this a subscription?
Are digital purchases refundable?
You will not get every story.
What you will get is a Tuesday afternoon in a kitchen, forty minutes long, with her voice in it — telling you something you did not know.
That is the whole thing. That is what you're doing here.
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